Tuesday, 4 July 2017

You Don't Have To Feel Bad About Rejecting Him/Her


One thing I've had to learn the tough way, is that rejection hurts everyone involved; but that sometimes... it's necessary.

I've been on both sides of the firing line, and I'm sure a lot of you reading this post will be able to relate. From experience, I know that being turned down can be one of the most difficult things you can face. It can cause you to question your worth and who you are as a person... But being on the other side can be just as painful; as you see someone you inevitably care for struggle because of a decision you have made. The immense guilt and empathy you experience can at times make the decision to reject or knock someone back, one of the hardest. 

Through it all though, it is so important to stay true to yourself.

I recently went through a relatively eventful break up, with enough ups and downs to fill up a full season in a Netflix drama. Being 'recently' single, I've realised how tough it is when you're knocked back by someone you care about.

Not to sound totally in love with myself, but on the flipside? I've also recently realised that being single means getting quite a bit of attention from the opposite gender. Sometimes that can be sweet and endearing, and it's definitely a bit of an ego boost. But I've had a few 'yikes' experiences too.

And the 'yikes' experiences have taught me that there are times that you just have to suck it up and tell it how it is; even if that means hurting someone- temporarily. When you reject somebody, often all you get to be a part of is their initial response; be it shock, surprise, hurt, or loneliness. And that can be really hard.

But what you have to remember is that the story doesn't end there.

That person you just rejected will go on to meet a whole host of different people. They will experience life in a way that they wouldn't have if you had just rolled with things, letting them believe whatever feeling they had were mutual. By knocking the other person back, you are really slingshotting them forward.

You don't always get to be a part of that person's recovery.

The majority of times that I've rejected others, I've only been around to see them hurt. But that doesn't mean that they don't pick themselves up after time. All it means is that I was a page in their story; a lesson well learned; an experience that will make it all the more special when they finally meet the one.

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