Sunday, 24 January 2016

lessons I learnt from the break up

So, it's coming up for 2 months since my ex called things off with me and ended our relationship. While it's been a tough and confusing time for me over these couple of months, I have actually learnt a lot from it, and I've started to notice things about the world that I didn't notice before; good things.

1. My friends are incredible
This was especially true in the first month after the break up, where to say I was a train wreck of emotions would be putting it lightly. Yet they carried through what was one of the hardest months of my life, without even one complaint. They bought me cake the day after we broke up, which we ate together, spoons in hand demolishing it until there was nothing left. They held me as I cried again and again and again. They responded to my 3am messages asking for help, with sincere love. My friends have always been there for me, but it has been in this period of time where I really grew to appreciate everything they do for me. They honestly deserve all the best things in life. 

2. I am strong
There's this quote that I've written down ages ago that says "As bad as it was, I learned something about myself; that I could go through something like that and survive", and you know what? It has never been so true as it is now. Being honest, it hurt. It hurt a heck of a lot, but I have endured. I'm not the same person as I was when I entered the relationship, but I have grown from it, and I have become stronger. I have endured, and I am still standing here, ready for the obstacles that life is inevitably going to throw at me. 

3. The relationships that don't last prepare you for the ones that do
"We delight in the beauty of the butterfly, yet rarely admit the changes it has gone through to achieve that beauty". A lot of people are like that with love, too. Just as people will overlook what the butterfly was before it was cocooned, so too do they look past the trail of heartbreak and lost love that leads to a relationship in which two people truly love and appreciate each other. I loved him. I loved him, and I lost him, and I can stand here and say (or sit here and type...) that I am better for it. I will love again, wiser, happier, and infinitely grateful for the relationships I had before, because they are lighting the way to a relationship that ultimately, I hope will last as long as I -or they- live. 

4. Distance doesn't lie
As some may know, and some may not, he lived approximately 145 miles away from me, which is a 3 hour bus journey, plus travelling to and from the bus station. And I know for a fact that the distance put a bit of a strain on our relationship; a strain that probably wouldn't have been there if not for the miles that separated us. I'm sure I'm not the first one to say that long distance relationships are harder than most other relationships, but I actually want to say more than just that. See, maybe he and I would have lasted longer if he lived nearer, but at the end of the day, if it wasn't meant to be, it wasn't meant to be, and that's just something that I need to accept. Distance sometimes lets you know who's worth keeping and who's worth fighting for, and in this instance, it showed me who is better of as a friend, rather than a boyfriend. 

Have you ever gone through a break up?
What lessons have you learnt from it?

2 comments:

  1. I've been through a break up, quite recently actually... I love your blog!

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    1. Thank you so much Verity. I really hope you're okay- break ups can be really difficult times, so make sure you take care of yourself!

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